Best BDSM Dating Sites

It is quite difficult for people like us who are interested in BDSM to find a partner who is also interested in the same thing as us.

However, when you look for a BDSM partner online everything changes. For those of you who are struggling to find a partner who is into BDSM know that your suffering is over! We have found the best BDSM dating sites that work.

It was very challenging for us to find legitimate BDSM dating sites but we did find them.  

We have subscribed to each of one of them and know their ins and outs.

Before you start please keep these points in mind so you can quickly find someone (We tested these): 

▪️ Free memberships is a waste of time get a paid membership: We tried to chat to people with free memberships but the access is always limited. We only had success with paid memberships where you get to access everything and setup kinky dates.

▪️ Try 1 month paid membership first: Always try out the 1 month paid membership first. If you only find someone you are talking to then go for the 3,6 or 12 month membership packages. In this way you can test all the 3 different sites and become a long term member in the one that suits you the best. Also because payments are non-refundable buying a long term membership without tasting the waters is not so smart

▪️ Message multiple people at once: You must play the numbers game here. Usually there are more men than women. So try to message at least 7 to 10 people per day in order to successful.

▪️ Don’t write crazy messages: Don’t write crazy things when you send messages be normal and interesting. Abusive messages will get you blocked by people.

▪️ After you talk to someone for a few days try to add them on Facebook or Instagram. Then talk again for a few days on social media and ask for their number. Don’t ask for the number directly. If they don’t provide you with their number or social media move on to the next one.

▪️ Even if you are talking to multiple people never stop messaging new people. You need to have an abundance of people talking to you as many will flake just like in real life.

▪️ Scammers (Easy trick to avoid them): There are some scammers out there who sign into these dating sites and give it a bad name. This is common for every dating sites even Tinder has them. Never send money to anyone and if you are talking to someone and they don’t want to add you on social media or give you their number they are probably a scammer. Remember the dating sites do not scam you but scammers who sign up as members do.

▪️ Do not ever send money to anyone or gift cards.

▪️ Before your meet someone: Check their social media, their friends, job etc. Try to cross verify by looking them up on Linkedin, their image on their whatsapp etc.

▪️ Get them to video chat with you if they don’t get video chat with you on Facebook messenger, whatsapp, skype or any other platform then move on its probably a scammer.

▪️ When you meet someone: Always meet in a public place for the first 2 dates. And when you do meet and bang do it in a hotel for the first few times. Once you establish trust you can go all in.

▪️ Be polite

▪️ Be patient and consistent: Always keep on messaging people. Do not get disheartened if someone does not reply. Keep sending nice messages to people and you will win.

▪️ Take some time and build a solid profile: The profiles which are extremely detailed, long, has many pictures and verified will always get more responses than those profiles which just has a sentence and a few pictures. So don’t be lazy and build yourself a solid profile.

People usually fail to find partners online because they do not any of these steps. Please follow these steps and you will find someone very soon! We have gotten genuine responses and dates by following these during our test.

1. Fetish.com

The no.1 spot for best BDSM dating sites goes to fetish.com. This site started out in 2015 and in a very short span of time they managed to attract a lot of members.

Their site on average receives 360,000 visitors per month and this number is growing very fast. Which means there are more than an ample amount of people you can have a nice experience or experiences with.

Unlike other BDSM dating sites the members at fetish are very active. On top of that this site has the most healthy demographics.

The male to female ratio is very well balanced out. And half of the visitors are less than 35 years old. Nearly a third of their male members are interested in other men.

So if you are a female this is good news for you because you are not going to be bombarded with messages all the time.

And if you are a straight male then you should be extremely happy because you have just found your goldmine.

To put some more icing on the cake they also have a profile verification check in place. Basically you have to take a picture holding your membership nickname on a piece of paper where your face is clearly shown and they will verify your profile. And this picture is never shared or posted anywhere it is only for the verification process.

When you become a member we suggest you get your profile verified this will let other members know you are the real deal and you will get more action!

The best pricing option which gives you the most bang for your buck is the VIP membership.

Here is what you get for becoming a VIP member of fetish.com:

▪️ See photos and videos

▪️ Attach photos to messages

▪️ See message statuses (See if your messages have been read or not)

▪️ Vip members have priority in contacting newbies and popular members (greatly increases chances of getting lucky)

▪️ Open your own chat room

▪️ Comment on images

▪️ Unmask profile visitors

▪️ New icebreaker message (Start upto 50 conversations a day)

▪️ Write and receive posts on your wall

▪️ Get highlighted in inboxes (Your message gets on top of the receivers inbox)

▪️ Save profiles and notes (Upto 2000)

▪️ Search for online members

▪️ Search photos and videos (Vip members can search photos and videos with criteria like age, body type etc.)

▪️ Save search settings (Vip members get 6 different search settings)

▪️ See visitors in the chat room

▪️ Be featured on top of who is online list

▪️ Vip’s are featured on homepage, search results and under similar members getting you more attention

▪️ You can blur your tracks if you want. Meaning you can see what you want to see but others won’t see that you are seeing them

▪️ See webcam videos in video chat

▪️ Video chat with other members

▪️ Upload videos

▪️ Know details about other members like how far they live, how often they respond to messages, who their friends are etc.

▪️ See all your profile visitors

▪️ Add upto 500 friends

▪️ Send messages

▪️ Eligible to join photo contest

▪️ Access to telephone support

▪️ No ads

As you can see this site does not get number 1 spot for nothing. What they provide to their members is really well thought out.

People who can’t find someone online are the ones who never spend a dime. But if you just spend a little an entire universe of BDSM play opportunities open up to you.

VIP Membership Pricing options:

(Their pricing is in Euros as their company is based out of Europe. However, you can pay with any bank account or card from any currency)

▪️ 1 Month €16.90

▪️ 3 Months €35.9 (€11.99 per month)

▪️ 6 Months €59.9 (€9.99 per month)

▪️ 12 Months €89.9 (€7.40 per month)

As you can see pricing is very affordable. For what you get we think it is a bargain.

Note that depending on location you may be able to pay with your credit/debit card or bank account. If debit or credit card does not show up as an option in your location then you have the option to pay with wire/bank transfer. For this you need to have your Bank IBAN number and BIC code in hand. (ask your bank if you are confused about this every bank in every country has this)

Most of the times you can pay with credit or debit card only a few countries has this small issue.

Payment is 100% safe it will not say in your bank statement that you made a purchase from fetish.com to keep it discreet. It will show something else in your statement like “CompanyGMBH”. You are also able to cancel membership anytime.

Overall we think this site is just great. You are likely going to find someone here and have a great time. There are many BDSM dating sites out there. But by far this site has the best functionality, most active members, affordable pricing, no complaints or negative comments and the company is legitimate.

Before we end we would also like to let you know that the company which owns fetish.com also owns another site called fetisch.de which is the same site but only for Germany.

Fetisch.de is extremely popular in Germany and because of its success in Germany they decided to go international and made fetish.com in 2015. So if you are from Germany go to fetisch.de. If you are from any other country go to fetish.com.

We believe they may merge these sites at some point.

So, what are you waiting for get your membership and fulfil your inner desires.

 2. Alt.com

The second spot for the best BDSM dating sites goes to alt.com. This site started way back in 1996 and not only did they survive but they thrived among all the transitions on the web for the past 23 years. Alt.com is the only BDSM dating site that stood the test of time.

Alt.com is the oldest BDSM dating site.

Their site on average received around 2 million visitors per month. They top the list when it comes to highest number of visitors. No other BDSM dating website even comes close to their numbers.

The demographics of alt.com mostly consists of males (straight, bisexual, homosexual), transvestite. The ratio of men to women is around 65/35.

Although there are more men straight men you should know that because many male members are not straight competition to get straight females is not very high. But is present. The one with the most detailed profile clearly wins.  

If your sexual orientation is not straight and you have been struggling to find BDSM partners then alt.com is the place for you. You will find many people here both male and female who are not straight.

And if you straight then don’t worry as just like all other dating sites the supply for straight people are endless.

Alt.com also has verification system in place. They use a third party service from ConfirmID which verifies age, gender and location of members.

If you become a member you should get yourself verified and only talk to other members who are verified as well. Ignore the rest. This is the best way to enjoy this site and meet real people.

One of the top reasons people fail to meet anyone from alt.com is because they talk to people whose profile is not verified. At the same time if a member does not verify their profile then no one responds to their messages.

If you put in some effort to make a nice profile with a lot of details and get your profiled you are surely going to find someone much quicker than others.

The free account on this site is just useless you cannot do anything and it is a complete waste of time. You just won’t go anywhere. Which we understand as they have to make money as well.

We tried to speak to people and see how far we could go with the free membership.

But we ended up getting nowhere. If you are looking for free BDSM dating sites then this site is just not an option. Because of this we tried their Gold membership which pretty much gives you access to everything you need to be successful on the site.

Here is what you get with the Gold membership:

▪️ View members

▪️ Contact members

▪️ Show up at the very top on searches

▪️ Be the first to contact new members

▪️ Get full access to members’ recorded video intros

▪️ Full access to blogs, groups, live webcams of members, models and magazine features

▪️ 24/7 phone support

Gold membership pricing options:

▪️ 1 month – $29.95

▪️ 3 months – $59.97 billed once every 3 months ($14.99/month) Also 3 month Gold membership gives you 1 more month for free. Which is a great deal.

Beyond the gold membership there are also some addons like the following:

▪️ Free members can contact you and view your profile. For this add on you have to pay $19.90 per month or $35.90 once every 3 months

▪️ Your profile and messages get highlighted when others are searching members or checking their inbox. For this add on you have to pay $9.90 per month or $24.90 once every 3 months.

▪️ We don’t think getting the addons are necessary but if you really want then you can go for the second add on option where your profile and messages get highlighted with gold membership.   

You can easily pay with a credit card. Unfortunately, they do not have any option to pay with Paypal. Infact, none the dating sites mentioned here take paypal.

While we were scanning the reviews we saw that few people met their husbands and wives on this site as well. We also found a lot of complaints but those can be avoided completely if you follow our guide and stick to verified members only.

Alt.com has been around for a very long time more than 20+ years. And has helped millions of people meet other people who are into BDSM. This is a one of the best sites out there to find someone as kinky as you are. The only reason this gets a no.2 position is because we found that the site design and functions are still pretty old school and they have some negative comments which can easily be avoided by only talking to verified members.

Alt.com does not offer any kind of trials so the only way you can taste the water is to try out the membership for a month.

Finding your perfect BDSM partner is just a step away. Get the membership, build a nice profile, contact members and meet them up.

3. Whiplr.com

The third spot for the best BDSM dating sites goes to whiplr.com.

This site is very new it just started in 2015 and it is almost a copy of Tinder for BDSM dating. (available on IOS App store, Android and online web) Although the site is new it gained popularity very quickly.

We think the reason behind this is the huge supply and demand issue for BDSM dating sites.

There is a huge demand for BDSM dating but there are very few BDSM dating companies out there where you can actually find someone.

Whiplr does not receive that many visitors when compared to alt and fetish. Whiplr receives around 45,000 visitors per month.

Whiplr also does not have visitors from all around the world like fetish and alt. Most of Whiplr’s visitors come from USA, UK, Colombia, Brazil, Greece, Italy, Germany and Netherlands.

The male to female ratio is quite evenly balanced out. The male to female ratio is around 55/45.

Whiplr has been featured on Vice, Daily news, People magazine and Mail online. Being a relatively new company publicity from such large sites has helped them grow quickly.

Whiplr does not have any verification methods like Alt or Fetish you can just create an account with any e-mail. This is something which we did not like. But one can solve this problem by video chatting with those that you want to meet up beforehand. 

The free membership that they offer is pretty useless because you can only message upto 5 people a day. And you cannot use the age filter.

Their most basic entry level membership is called Dekadom.

Here is what you get with the Dekadom membership:

▪️ Search for kinksters around you

▪️ Join kinky groups

▪️ Access fellow kinkers photos and videos

▪️ Use all kinds of search filters

▪️ Message others (Unlimited)

▪️ Block others (Unlimited)

▪️ Send voice and video messages

▪️ Make voice and video calls

▪️ Send ice-breakers and gifts

▪️ Get access to others’ private photos

▪️ Keep notes on other users

▪️ Ability to purchase addon points for more services

Pricing options:

▪️ Whiplr Dekadom membership costs $10 (lifetime membership)

▪️ Standard package $19

▪️ Popular package $49

▪️ Worthwhile package $99.99

The Dekadom membership is an absolute must to be successful on the site. Beyond that if you want to take things to the next level you should get one of the add on packages mentioned above. It gives you access to a lot other fun services like ice breakers which are realistic animations with sounds that you can send to others as a conversation starter.

We got the lifetime membership and the popular package. With these membership packages we were able to send hundreds of messages without typing anything with the help of the icebreaker option. This just makes life easier as you don’t have to type in anything. And we did get responses.

The standard, popular and worthwhile packages gives you a lot of extra benefits as well. These packages are also constantly being updated by Whiplr keeping things fresh and new.

Overall we quite liked the site and we believe Whiplr has the potential to be number 1 in the near feature. Their design and functionalities are very good. The only thing that is holding them back from becoming the number 1 BDSM dating company is the number of people on their site.

We do not think it will take them too long to move up the ranks as they are marketing themselves very well and their memberships are growing rapidly every month.

This Tinder like BDSM focused dating company definitely deserves a shot. Get yourself a membership and find some kinks with whom you can explore your raunchy side.